Now I am free...

We are victims of the rules we live by. I don't do that, I will never talk to that person, I can't go that way, I hate doing that, I cannot stand those people, I am so much better, my religion doesn't allow that, I do it this way, I I I, it's so limiting to think and feel that way. The only rule we should follow is what comes from our hearts, and not worry so much on how society will perceive our actions, our feelings, etc. I have worried so much on what people will think of me for so long now, because if I had my way I would do things differently, but I was so worried and so attached to that feeling, and that little voice saying well won't they think you are out of your mind, who the hell is going to think that? People are worried about their survival, their struggles and their successes. Girl, ain't nobody worrying about if your ass is crazy or normal etc. It's absolutely in my head I know, but it just feels so real sometimes, and why do I focus so much on what people will think of me to a point of being crippled by the thought of even trying something new. Sometimes, not to seem crazy I'll make a joke about it, like yeah I'm taking that class or I'm going here, but why should I be embarrassed by my curiousity? I love learning about new things, even if I don't master them, I know I tried it. For example, I take quitar lessons, sewing lessons, etc not because I want to be a rockstar and fashion designer but because I just wanted to know how to do that so I took lessons. I love learning and finding out things and figuring out things and I'll just let my curiousity about life take me, lead me and guide me, no longer will I be lead, guided and taken by my fears of what I'll be perceived like.