...Just Be

I learn everyday, sometimes it's easy and sometimes I learn the hard way. One of the most important lessons I have learned is to just be myself. I always worried about fitting in or not standing out, I just wanted to just blend in, didn't want anyone to notice me, this way noone would look at my flaws, my imperfections. It's funny because I thought I am alone in that world, where you feel inadequate and powerless with your life, and I made my decisions based on that mentality especially in my younger years in High school, What would I tell that girl in high school who felt so out of place that she literally silenced herself and stayed on the corner because she felt she wasn't enough? I focused too much on what everyone would think of me, I didn't consider what I thought, I just thought well, whatever I think isn't right, or whatever I like is not ok, so I didn't listen to my heart, my instincts, I was too busy pleasing the world, I never even considered what God thought, I just felt so far away from God, even though I went to church, I never really had a personal relationship with God, If only I knew God was in me, he's with me always, and whatever made me happy would make him happy. Maybe another reason was I just wasn't conscious enough, about the world around me, I didn't know why I was here, or what I was supposed to do with my life, I just went with the flow, I was not conscious at all, I never thought, it's weird I never put God and life together, they were separate entinties as far I was concerned, I saw life as this this place, where everyone was supposed to act a certain way in order to fit in, and I was supposed to act a certain way to please God, "act" ! The God I know doesn't want me to act, he wants me to be the best me I can be, God doesn't even care or worry about my insecurities. Little did I know, if part of God then I am perfect, we all are, our actions and our humanity are different, I'm a human being who make mistakes, I'm not a mistake because I'm a human being. So I would tell that high school girl, who wouldn't even go to the prom because she felt so ugly and undeserving, that she was and all she had to do was be the best she could be period.